September Wanderings

Wanderings . . .
             
              Sunday morning, my day began like this:
 Linda:  I can’t offer you a choice between good and bad news.  The only news is bad.
 Me:  OK, hit me with the bad news.
 Linda:  Greenlight is out.
 Me:  Well Linda, it is not going to kill you to go without a Hallmark movie today.
Linda:  Fine, wise guy, but how are you going to do the Zoom wedding without the internet.
Me:  [XX – language not appropriate for decent Christian people – XX]

Okay, the backstory.  Meagan Crowley and Kristen have been friends since elementary school, and our families have spent more than a few holidays together.  A typical year was Easter at the Crowleys, Memorial Day at the Nezamzedahs  July 4th at the Wallings.  We repeated the schedule for Labor Day, and Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Grace Loudenstein was usually there . . . the Phelps if they were in town . . . other families depending on travel plans.  The key with this collection of families was the abundance of children roughly in the same age range.  Anyway, the Linda and I have treasured Allen and Valerie as friends for 25 years.

So maybe 10 months ago, I get a phone call inquiring as to whether I would travel to Texas to preside over a wedding.  March 29th.  Yes, I would.  And all was set until . . . well, you know.  The Covid-19 thing – it has been in all the papers.  Meagan and David rescheduled . . . for August 30th, because really, how long can a pandemic last?  (Answer:  longer than 154 days.)

So, my plans were to be in the Dallas/Fort Worth area this past weekend.  Until a couple of weeks ago when I checked in to say that I was not liking the numbers I was seeing.  They assured me that they understood and asked if I could help locate a minister in the D/FW metro area.  I’ve been thinking, I said, what about a Zoom wedding.  They bought it.  I get to do it, distanced not 6 feet but like 6 states.  And, after all, what could go wrong with an internet wedding?  (Answer:  well, now we know.)

Anyway, I finished getting dressed and went to the church.  I worked with Greenlight to resolve the outage – their technicians worked madly, and I strummed my fingers.  At some point, unbeknownst to my local internet provider, I gave up on them and set Plan B into motion.  Plan B was taking my laptop to a different municipality and tapping into their internet.  I called Morgan Daughety and inquired about using First Christian, Farmville’s internet.  He agreed.  (He agreed though I suspect he spent the rest of the day bemoaning the quality of friends he has acquired to this point in his life . . . who calls up someone on a lovely weekend morning to ask that you drop all of your plans so you can do what he wants you to do?.)

I end up in the Farmville FCC sanctuary, on Wi-Fi to an Internet connection linked to a video company out of Texas.  We – meaning “they” – spent an hour troubleshooting a series of glitches while I stummed my fingers.  The ceremony launched 32 minutes late.  About 20 seconds into the processional, I realized that I could neither view nor hear the wedding venue.  I was without sight and hearing.  I spent the next 25 minutes estimating:  Repeat after me, “I David take you Meagan to be my wife” . . . 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 . . . to be my wife . . .  Too long a pause?  Did I cut him off?  Who knows?  Anyway, I did what ministers are so adept at doing – I faked it.   I bluffed.  I acted like I knew what I was doing.

And this morning when I awoke, David and Meagan were married.  And Greenlight was back on and Morgan was working on getting a higher class of friends.  And like most days, I am in my office, still acting like I know what I’m doing.

Blessings and Peace,
Gary